I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize