elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize