the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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