Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I am naked and annoyed.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize