it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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