put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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