No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize