so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
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And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
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Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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