I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize