Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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