a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
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Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
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The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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