Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize