I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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