I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
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He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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