yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize