I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize