Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(501): View more from Arkansas

My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.

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(501): My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog. http://tfl.nu/5h53

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(310): View more from California

Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.

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(310): Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers. http://tfl.nu/s498

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.

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(270): Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend. http://tfl.nu/ihwe

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(605): View more from South Dakota

So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?

(720): View more from Colorado

This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?

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(605): So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win? (720): This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok? http://tfl.nu/drjm

Replies (98) Good night (2598) Bad night (5648)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.

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(608): Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her. http://tfl.nu/6qpw

Replies (25) Good night (1588) Bad night (5721) Order T-Shirt
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(334): View more from Alabama

just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day

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(334): just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day http://tfl.nu/5gym

Replies (11) Good night (873) Bad night (3018) Order T-Shirt
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(530): View more from California

Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.

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(530): Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering. http://tfl.nu/vhlw

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(816): View more from Missouri

After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.

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(816): After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship. http://tfl.nu/v7rc

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(734): View more from Michigan

He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.

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(734): He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another. http://tfl.nu/sx70

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.

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(501): Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure. http://tfl.nu/9bef

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.

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(865): Now go wash the fat girl off your hands. http://tfl.nu/sym9

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.

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(608): I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here. http://tfl.nu/1bbr

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.

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(403): I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life. http://tfl.nu/3fnb

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(917): View more from New York City

hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye

(908): View more from New Jersey

AMAZING.

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(917): hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye (908): AMAZING. http://tfl.nu/tp4d

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.

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(570): Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends. http://tfl.nu/utpt

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