I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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