i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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