I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize