i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
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I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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