I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
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it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
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I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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