ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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