Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
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