At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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