I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize