Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
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yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
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I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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