My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I will die if light touches me.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Come on in and take your pants off
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