My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize