So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
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He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
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Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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