nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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