I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize