Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
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The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
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we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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