For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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