If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
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Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
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You're a waste of cheezeits
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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