worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize