I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize