Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
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I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
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I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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