i need an iv and a liver transplant
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize