Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize