NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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