I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
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She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
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KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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