i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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