garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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