The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
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On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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