You can't motorboat a personality
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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