you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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