I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize