She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
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And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
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How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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