there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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